I just read every one each of the post here. I have a 20 year old son who is being treated for bipolar disorder and adhd. I’m so sorry that anyone else has to go through this too, on either side of the illness. We have one beautiful 28 yr old married daughter with a grandchild on the way. Been married for thirty years and someone mentioned their own neediness. There are times when people with BP simply cannot exercise good judgment. He can have his trash that he cheated with and leave us alone. She had left next door ( council tenant ) then about 6 weeks ago he told me he can continued to see her but they had now split up. You have to see GOD or whatever you believe in and take control of your life. Feature Stories. She is now having another affair, and again I am just the kids’ dad. I am exhausted and tired. The technical content I relate to in this post is accredited to them. Relationships are a two way street and I never feel bad about cheating on the two types I mentioned about. When I found out it had been going on for almost a year. A courageous man that has more love and grace in his heart choosing forgiveness and to support and love her instead of walking away. I love this man and dont know what to do. He goes to support groups and really tries to be as normal as he can. cops in car eating telling me he isnt suicidal they reissued the warrant so again hes free I’m done1 its killing me literally in the past yr I have been diagnosed with diabetes, fibromyalgia high colesterol and I have thyroid desease. It was very easy to find willing partners. Your email address will not be published. Well, after a while in the pool with another guy I could see that the two of them were sitting really cozy together in the pool with his arm around her. I have wanted to leave for about a year and half now, I look at other women and wonder if I would be happier with someone else. I am now “down” from my “high” and *extremely* depressed..but I know this too shall pass. I have heard it time and time again. Does not work. I totally understand the need for excitement, although I have not cheated, nor have I joined any adult friends clubs or anything like that. People with bipolar disorder can turn to the International Bipolar Foundation for more information on the illness, personal stories about lying, and ways they can find treatment and help. I was feeling that maybe I was weak. you are not the only one, i’m sorry for your loss (it is a loss and i see that now) my husband left in December after a family vacation (horrible one, last). I wish I could tell you that she will be back but there is really no guarantee that she will. The latest was a guy she worked with 20 years ago who she reconnected with on facebook. I become a caregiver without her knowing and now I am a mess. My son too is bipolar and ADHD and 20. He contracted a STD & exposed me to it. Then he started sliding with sadness. he was on his best behavior with all friends, family and this chic and i just don’t get how he could be the absolute opposite to me and my sons. I would suggest if anything be friends with bebifits and don’t get emotional attached. God Bless! They only saw each other after work 3 nights a week so I never knew. Its as if being married to an all consuming black hole that drains you of your very self. True love and care comes naturally and if I am the crazy one when I realize that when most of those types can’t than have fun with that life. ), Masturbating more than once a day without satisfaction, Increased sex drive leading to more sexual experiences with my husband, Illicit activities when out at clubs with friends. You guys are kidding yourself if you think a cheater is going to change, whether he is bipolar or not. I started to lose confidence in him. She would become extremely depressed for weeks to months. We did not speak for a month then on her b day I texted her and she responded we met up and talked all night I was so happy she was back. I was determined and unable to think clearly in the slightest. I told my best friend Nancy that in my most manic high (the stage of my mania where I was so high I could literally orgasm without any physical contact) that the little Jiminy Cricket in my head was so quiet I almost couldn’t hear him. I hate to use the word, but is it not completely “insane” to put up with all of this and actually try to build a marriage? If anything is done to hurt them, own it. Now he is pathalogically deceptive and lying as a way of life. Use the countless resources available to you whether it be literature or medical. Change ). His true colors will eventually come out and I hope he reaches out for help when it does. Your wife may need to be confronted and told explicitly 1) how this is affecting your life, 2) what her options are, and 3) the consequences if the situation doesn’t improve. I have never trusted anyone more than I trusted my wife and once I found out the truth I also found out everything she had been hiding and secretly living. When I suspected him of cheating, he made me feel as though bipolar prompted delusional ways of thinking. Here is my tale of woe…I’m a man in his sixties who married my bipolar college sweetheart, and later divorced after 10 years. He is from Ireland, is very charming, and is very believable. i am at a loss, feel as though my life will never be the same. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other substances (including over-the-counter medications and energy drinks) that stimulate the brain. I have had affairs and always wondered why I do it. He then took a handful of tablets and texted me asking how long tablets take. I am Bipolar I and have cheated on my husband. I mean everything. He had and affair 7 years ago. These relationships can include friendships, family and romantic relationships. I soon found out that she would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak out to have sex and also bring guys over while I was sleeping and have sex with them. His made his bed. We had so much in common. the symptoms of BP is hypersexuality, guilt, unable to make sound judgements, loneliness, uncontrolable spending. she was kind and honest and we were both careful in what we discussed. For someone who isn’t necessarily fond of sea excursions, I find myself drawn to the maritime metaphors. Drinking should have been first red flag, he hadn’t had a drink in two years because of its affecting his bipolar He choose to take his son and leave, but is insisting that I kicked them out on the streets. She has used her son as a excuse to go 3 hours away and live a complete lie of a life for the past 8+ months. Talk to people. I would like to say, that while yes, bipolar is an illness, and I have done some reckless things, it is imperative that we take full responsibility for our behavior. Yes, it is sad and I know the illness clouds judgement, but seriously when you are having AN AFFAIR that lasts months and you consciously are meeting them and taking your clothes off and sleeping with them and calling them and emailing them, it becomes a DECISION. I have been divorced for 23 years, and while I was completely loyal to my husband during my marriage, as my illness has begun to manifest itself, I can see in retrospect many signs of hypersexual, reckless behavior. But every time I slipped up, even something as menial as doing the dishes the wrong way, or not scooping a litter box, became the biggest problem in our world. It’s a mess and now no local or other attorney will look at my case because a of the series of events that have happen up to this point. I confronted him and her and her husband and told them to stop. He wants his family but I’m tired of going through this. It was exhausting but I wanted to get her help first so I stayed and gave her the only option and that was join therapy with marriage and with her phychatrist. I do believe there is a genetic link, thankfully her siblings all seem to have been spared the curse of this illness. He spends all his money on stupid immediate gratification things, and refuses to pay what he promises. I truly believe if it’s done in a healthy way, it can be forgiven (not forgotten), but it will not need to be continually brought up. I could not take any more, I told him to get help or leave. I struggle so with this illness and really want to be healthy as much as is humanly possible. I’d been burned before in a previous relationship, never to the extent that this went, but I knew better to at least keep my eyes open. I compare it to an itch I need to scratch….CONSTANTLY! because im up set about it . But she will continue to heal, as will our marriage. Not only did I lose her but lost those children, however, I am blessed with a son from our marriage. I thought about sex all the time, i thought about threesomes, open marriages, swinging….i even went as far as posting ads on craigslist looking for a “boy toy” to play with. I know that it is hard, really hard. She crashed and started have 30 to 50 emotional and mood changes in a day. I cant believe it upto now. Hi everyone, I haven’t read through all the posts so I hope I’m not repeating anything. He was constantly battling freedom with marriage.. ( Log Out /  Her doctor talked to her about looking into bipolar, and though she was open to that idea initially, just like “being normal” scared her, so did the thought of letting a pill control her moods. Enough to cause suicide! I found out he was cheating on me with a pregnant escort he knew for 6 years because I accused him of cheating and I don’t believed him anyways( or at least this is what he says). My life was all about managing my husbands addictions and his moods. I admire your strength. By Beth Last updated: 22 Feb 2011 ~ 1 min read. I can’t tell you how disgusted and relived I was to find out that I was STD clean after finding the sites on his phone. After a year of this, he took a new position in another state and I thought it was over. First, “moderate the behaviors” can mean all sorts of things from the person with bipolar willingly taking her medications and putting an honest effort into maintaining mood stability to forced commitment. I have known for a while that something is wrong. Its such a multi-faceted situation. ... Our story goes like this we have been together for 10yrs. At this point in time, he believes it’s me, and that he is capable of having a healthy relationship with someone else, and I know he will move on easily and start again. I guess I’ll always wonder but a decision has to be made and believe me I asked everyone I know what they think and even went to a psychic and still don’t know what to do. She has now discarded me and is with another man for her supply (money, entertainment, sex, etc.). She is fine and happy talking to her friends and sometimes with me, but at times for no good reason she is completely MEAN to me. and appears quite happy and normal while behaving this way. Can’t believe what fucking pricks you are! I cried and cried from the stress and shock of the situation. How do you forgive someone that does these things. My 20 year old son is also Bipolar. She texted me and begged me to stay and that we could support each other until we had enough money saved to live separately, but all I had to do was ask what she would have done if I had been the one cheating and she had nothing more to say. I’ve been sober for 21 years, and know that in the first year of recovery, many people are misdiagnosed with all kinds of personality disorders, only to find later that it’s because of the drugs or alcohol abuse. WAKE UP PEOPLE! He moved in with her straight away against advise from all his family and friends who were all as astounded as me. I am not married, but I dated someone who was diagnosed with BP this past year. If it were me, I’d tell my wife how much I loved her, that she seemed not to be herself, and I’m concerned about her health. I’ve been going through the same thing for the last 3 years. It’s the lying that hurts more than anything. She wouldn’t greet them, and was mostly only civil to them and behind their backs was telling me all the things she found wrong with them. I am not saying in any way that the horrible lies, cheating and/or up and dumping someone out of the blue for no reason is in any way acceptable but I look at the majority of the types that I attract more often, that constant vibe of expecting to have their feet kissed because they want their denial validated is crap. He quit calling me at work throuhout the day and insisted that I only call him in an emergency. next thing he was going to his sister’s home who lives several hours from us. It’s hard to say and I will probably always wonder. After extensive help from a psychologist, psychiatrist, our priest, and Depakote, our lives are starting to get back to normal. This year it all came to the surface all the secrets. Enter your email address to follow The Bipolar Compass and receive notifications of new posts by email. he tells me its due to the medication. At the age of 36, after decades of struggle with erratic mood swings—periods of mania followed by debilitating depression—and ample doses of anxiety and frustration, Julie Kraft, a mother of three, was finally diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2010. He sees the doctors as Living with a bipolar spouse is about 1000 times harder than a normal marriage and I feel that I took a vow in sickness and in health. That I won’t be a monster that will keep hurting my husband and family. Then comes the crash, and I can barely move That was Sunday night, and she went to his place while I was out, and I moved out Monday, and took as much as I could that was mine. She was telling that same stalker guy that she loved him and missed him, and he was begging her to come be with him. She has turned into cheating lying thief and a terrible mother. My husband keeps getting attached to females. As a psychologist he knew how to manipulate her and how to get just what he wanted. Honestly I am in the same boat as you and am considering calling it quits. I am not happy… 4 affairs that I know about. Yes the sex is great yes she was beautiful but her not raising her daughter right and constantly walking on egg shells is not worth it basically it’s better I found this out a year in rather like others 3456 12 years in finding out. One day everything was fine, the next she was telling me she wanted to leave. It took our daughter to tell her, “If yo don’t fly right I think Dad is going to up and leave because of your having to have a beer every chance you get.” Well that worked for a while but I don’t think it will last. He being a narcissist and putting himself and his pleasures first or the bipolar? 2weejs in I passed by her house 2am her car is not there and it’s Friday I thought the worst and texted her because I know what she is capable of doing and has done. I stay up a little later watch TV or IM my son out in AZ and BS with some friends…. In regards to the definitions of hypersexuality and me referring to them as “symptoms”, I just want to make one thing clear: IT’S NOT AN EXCUSE! Today, I am taking medication for the abuse I’ve taken. I do have trouble concertrating sometimes but as you can tell, I have a lot going on! All the cool kids are doin' it! I have tried and tried to get her to see someone but she gets so defensive and tries to say that I think she is crazy when she is the only one sane in the house. Support. What finally broke the camel’s back was finding out about her 7 month affair to a school teacher, a client of hers. I caught this one in feb of this year and wanted to end it. it makes me sick. Sometimes when I go out with my friends, I do get out of control – blabbing secrets, flirting wiht men, drinking too much but in the rest of my life, I think I am in control. Now she has resorted to using pay phones. Which was great but her attitude when she was mean and angry made me resent her and I did not have the desire to love her like I used to. I told her how it made me feel. They both swear that it is completely platonic. I can’t deny that he has his attributes: successful, funny, romantic, beautiful family… but when these moments hit, he’s deciding to do everything from growing pot to joining sex clubs online ( he continues to claim the were fake; I doubt this). This is in addition to his previous diagnosis of PTSD and substance dependency. You’ve earned them. You’re breaking barriers and empowering people to discuss what they are going through. So that can be a personality disorder, addiction, PTSD, etc. But the truth is, I love my little girl and I still love my wife. Godspeed to everyone here. At last, stop whining about this. I want to do the right thing. However, in the last year she has got this thing about not opening the mail, destroying it and not paying some bills. My wife’s constant crushes and falling in love with other men has driven me into depression. If this is true, Why cant my husband over come the need to be on constant contact with KiKi? Or call it quit right now. I needed to vent, and I’m glad I’m not alone out there. i went downstairs and grabbed a knife and attempted to stab myself. None of them worked, and some made things worse and in conjunction with various sleep meds, they finally gave up and prescribed Effexor, which basically acts as a suicide deterrent, as on that, she still experiences manic and depression episodes. I know better but my heart hurts. Friday after picking the kids up I got home and he was totally strung out. Broke away from his Kids and Grandson.. She has taken full responsibility for her actions and is doing everything asked. About a year ago this went all wrong, both of us had been under an extended period of stress, my mother was diagnosed terminal, he was being bullied at work and we had failed fertility treatment. I have suggested he gets help to check whether he is bipolar and he has agreed to get help. My husband has forgiven me several times and it might be easier because I have not yet confessed the couple of times I had a physical infidelity I feel like that would rip him apart. Bipolar and Infidelity. I still love him dearly but cannot be together due to religious beliefs. We got there, for 5 months we seemed happy, starting wearing our wedding rings again, family took him back again, went on a lovely holiday together, sex life was back again. he cons the cops has everyone in our small littls town believing I’m insane because I hold him accountable for his actions.He is in a study for lithium and went out drinking on it I told him one more drink hes out. Regardless, it is very painful on the kids, spouses ect… I’m extremely worried that she won’t come back mentally? Get out while you can or you face a life of hurt. I really wish I was. We went to counseling and all that time he was blaming me for his cheating. I have mentioned to her that she needs to seek help that her actions come with out warning and she gets abusive. Find a good support group. But it was through this affair and seeing counselors and physiatrists that we learned she is defiantly bi-polar. I have more closure knowing that it’s due to BPD, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. She says that she has been married to this famous actor through multiple lives and I stole her away from him. It just so happens that I had helped to create a situation that made the affair easy. I love her dearly and we have two boys. His family feel very similar and are supporting me more than him, nobody seems to have any understanding of the illness. You choose to do the right thing or the wrong thing. A recent study claimed that 37% of subjects who were bipolar engaged in sexual compulsivity. It took 35 years to find the right combination of meds that finally worked. for those of you with Bipolar like me, there is hope i know there is. Glad to know we aren’t alone! Every conversation ends up to how do you feel today and conversations about being bipolar and I’m afraid it’s going to be like that every day if I stay with him, or even worse if we get married. He’s very manipulative and believes he’s the best in the world. Refine by tag: bipolar depression mentalhealth anxiety love mentalillness mentaldisorder disorder suicide anxietydisorder sad poetry schizophrenia romance mental selfharm abuse depressed anorexia sadness. I have been married for 20 years to my bipolar husband. He does all these crazy things that don’t add up, lies and only is concerned about her and that’s it. Because I suffer from my own mental issues (substance dependency) and am committed to this professionally, I feel almost hypocritical. Should I take the chance of another episode occurring and my children getting hurt again? I was married 30 years ago to a bi polar man who was extremely contolling and abusive. It’s had when someone lies to you and you think you are in a wonderful relationship only to discover you were dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I’m about to see a counsellor and I have to make steps now to put in place custody arrangements and financial separation agreements and it’s making me feel sick. I can’t fix the damage done during those years and neither can you. Fear has caused me to allow this behavior to continue. I’m kind of going through the same thing. he was impossible to live with after he lost his job…things got worse and worse. I read all these stories and they all sound like me. She broke down and stared crying and apologizing. This is not good for her or her loved ones. The monster hijacked him. especially when you have such a loving and faithful husband that many women would die for. Bipolar disorder, in my mind, is the “bad guy disease”. He is in denial of bipolar and believes me to have issues… He is my issue… Yet when I stopped reacting to him he found a new outlet to bring trouble..He cut my clothes and belongings.. After a few sessions, he diagnosed my wife as BP and sent her to a psychyatrist who agreed and put her on Depakote. It’s more likely that the person was already bipolar, but had been doing that for awhile to deal with it. he had been on paxil for 12 years believing that he suffered from only depression and anxiety. He has sinced moved out on me and my two children, acting irrational, not helping with the kids and making her a priority. After the initial “I’m sorry”, he repeatedly told me to “get over it”, which caused even more pain and damage to our relationship. I’m sure there are many more compliments coming your way – just keep doing what you’re doing! It was then I realized I’d been holding back so many things that I’d wanted to tell her over the past three years and I told her that no matter what I could have done, even if I did everything exactly the way she wanted it, she still would not be as happy as she thinks it would make her. Hypersexuality is essentially, from my personal experience, an overwhelming desire and obsessive preoccupation with sex and sexual content. Whether you choose to stay and try, or move on, it will probably be difficult, but perhaps if we reach out to each other in places like this, we can start to understand each other a bit better, and maybe hearing the same words from a stranger will touch someone’s heart, and hopefully help in some way. I’m the only one who knows this … no friends, prob not even his psychiatrist knows this. I only see him when he comes home to take a shower. On the first meeting the psychologist told him he’s narcissistic which I told him many times. I rarely read blog posts that are that long but your message is powerful. You can be normal and not some heartless monster. I have had five years of hell. My insecurities and accusations made him do it. This past March, I started an affair with a man at work. ... Today, my plan for a happy marriage is to manage bipolar disorder separately from managing my marriage whenever possible. He was always told by doctors he just has depression he was never on the right meds. Taking him back time and time again would only make me the enabler..and I don’t care what you have be it bipolar, major depression or PTSD you MUST be held accountable for your behavior. Hey, I know what you mean (ezcept my wife is not cheating that I know of) it is hard to give up and to admit it is final. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I knew it for a very long time, from the time that she first denied her doctor the chance to help her. As the past two years went on, after she quit her original meds, she decided that the career she got a degree for was completely intolerable even though it would be far more financially stable than her current job. Since my diagnosis, she has been cold, uninterested and lacks any initiative. He hates me for this.. I also know there is no cure, it is a lifetime illness. What’s worse is there wasn’t a definitive point as to when and how the hypomania started. He was calling her constantly, texting her all the time, and I noticed her texting a lot and confronted her (remember, she has only one friend, whom she hardly ever even talks to) and she denied it was anyone in particular and that it was just “a friend.” The fact that she wouldn’t be straightforward with me tipped me off. I am 39 and ive had 22,25,27 yr olds….the young ones were the ones i wanted, they made me feel young, a whole other generation i was not a part of but suddenly i was (or i thought so) it made me feel alive again, made me feel sexy. Codependents for example and/or borderline personalities. It’s all about her and spending money and never take responsibility for her words or actions. he finally began a consulting business, but i knew his decision making skills were very skewed and no matter what i said he argued about it. Fortunately for me, he was not a good liar and there were so many holes in his stories. Wow. Hope that helps. between 16 years of pain from fibro, six years of torment with my son’s bp and now this, i feel ready for a psyche ward. Thus, instead of desiring others beside the beloved one, you go ahead and physically unite with them. I looked back and realised he has been downloading lots of porn fotos of women in his computer, his fone he browses porn 24/7, he drinks beer excessively even the moment he wakes up in the morning, he smokes pot everyday too. I am determined to get myself right and with Gods help I will..If your partner wont stop and wont get treated, you are going to have to pull the plug. That’s for sure. He masturbates about 4-5 times a day (home and at work or will go home for work to do so), looks at porn, downloads photos to his phone, goes out to meet women he can have sex with. Came home 11x and finally I had enough. I have 4 children. So my dear u not alone. It sounds like me talking, what you have described. I noticed she was VERY sexual and horny all the time I thought that was cool and she was a model I mean everyone said she was just drop dead gorgeous I thought I hit jack pot. But when I woke, life was the real thing and I was very low, almost suicidal. He goes on to say that people who are manic with this symptom display “vulnerability to a ‘disinhibition’ of social restraints during manic periods” In fact, there are studies to suggest that there is more blood flow to the left part of the amygdala (almond-shaped part of the brain that deals with fear and panic) in bipolar patients than in other people. His behaviour whilst with her has been totally out of character, inciting fights in bars, drinking alcohol to excess, spending money he didn’t have, the list goes on!! I am a grown woman, and I’m not “psychotic” ie: lost touch with reality. We have three children together ranging from 7 to 18 months. I tried to get help from our church, the counselors there were great. He is now crazy with his young mistress….he just threw away everything we had! Put yourself first. It would seem to the world and to me that he was head over heals for me, just don’t understnad how he could just up and do this. Tired of being told things will be better she will get help and stay on meds. Bet your DAMN mundane life wouldn’t be so mundane then. She has long-term severe clinical depression (which she is taking meds for) and BPD, which she is in denial about having, even though her sister and father both have BPD and her mother and brother have serious depression also.

Plainview, Mn Obituaries, Support Champion Crossword Clue, Green Card Rescission Proceedings, How Many Times Have You Watched Friends Quiz, Roast Pork Loin Gordon Ramsay,